In lieu of a column praising the government’s two-day prosecution of Roger Clemens (best mistrial since Britney Spears’ driving-without a license case in ’08), I give you scattered thoughts…
So the NBA has released its complete 2011-2012 schedule. Yes, all 1,230 games. This, despite the fact that a bitter labor dispute and lockout could very well prevent a season from even happening.
Is it me, or does this almost feel like breaking up with your girlfriend, then e-mailing her a list of restaurants you would take her to if you got back together?
“Spago for Valentine’s Day? Depends…”
“New Years dinner at the Ivy? Possibly…”
Speaking of pro hoops, the Orlando Magic’s superstar center Dwight Howard indicated recently he was open to playing on foreign soil if the lockout isn’t resolved by the start of next season.
"I'm not at liberty to talk about it," he said, "but there's a huge possibility about me going to China or me going overseas to play basketball … If I decide to go overseas, the main thing is for me to continue to get better, not to do the things that I normally do, but do better at the things I'm not good at." Like using proper grammar? Look Dwight, if you’re going to represent us abroad, at least bring along a basic knowledge of the English language… And for the record, China is overseas (unless there’s a new land bridge I don’t know about).
Anyone else less-than-stunned that Jennifer Lopez and her exoskeleton-husband (Marc Anthony) are pulling the plug after seven years of matrimony? I think the more salient question is how on earth it lasted that long. Maybe we could ask Julia Roberts, a.k.a. the former Mrs. Lyle Lovett.
The good news, of course, is that neither one’s career will miss a beat. But wait, it gets creepier: This includes projects the pair was slated to work on together, like a south-of-the-border version of American Idol called Q’Viva! The Chosen, set to begin taping in the fall.
According to the show’s Website, Lopez and Anthony “will travel throughout Latin America in search of ‘The Chosen Ones’ who will prove they have the talent to represent their country.” The performers will include singers, musicians, dancers, acrobats and presumably a good divorce lawyer.